Abcedarian of Addiction

A is for addiction
B is for the beast you feel yourself becoming
C is for the countless hours you spent fighting
D is for the darkness your monster hides in
E is for how easy it is to fall under the spell of addiciton
F is for the feeling of desolation as you fight
G is for the good friends who stood by your side
H is for the hell you've find yourself trapped in
I is for the irrepressible feeling that you did this to yourself
J is for the jaded view of life you now have
K is the the fact that your addiction is literally killing you
L is the friendships you've destroyed as you fought your beast
M is for the memories of a better time, and a better place
N is for never going back
O is for ongoing battle that you'll fight every day of your life (is for one more hit, one more time and I'm done)
P is for the pain you cause yourself (for the poison coursing through your veins)
Q is for the quest to sobriety that feels like it will never end
R is for recovery and relapse
S is for sickness invading every part of you you ever knew
T  is for the time you spent hoping and praying the sickness would end
U is for the urges that plague your mind and weigh down your soul
V is for victory that is so close, yet so far away
W is for the weakness you're pushing out of your system
X is for x-ray, a snapshot of how your life used to be, how it could be again.
Y is for you, because you are strong to defeat a beast most cannot see
Z is for the zealot. The warrior we know you are.

Slay the beast.

Thin Line

There's a thin line between reality and insanity
It's tangible, and all too easy to snap
You feel it as you descend into the depths of hell
Trapped in your own mind, waging a war internally
that there's no way you can possibly win
What can you do when the monster you're up against
Is the one see every day?
What can you do when the monster you're up against
Has your own face?
The descend into madness isn't much of a descent at all
There are steps - small increments that weigh you down
Make you weary and make you forget who it is that you are
You hope for the end, hope it's better than the beginning
but the end is nothing but an utter collapse of everything you've ever known and loved
You'll question everything you ever knew, but no one can tell you
just what it is you're up against
They can see it, this monster you're becoming
but they refuse to acknowledge it, because what they don't see
They don't see the war. The tears, the bloodshed, the thin line of reality
so they'll hide the monster, the one only you can feel
they'll shove it in the closet, keep it in the dark
but you see, the thing is
monsters grow in the darkness

Letter To God v3

Dear God,

I know it's been awhile, since I've written to you
But what to write, I had not a clue
There was this girl, a friend of mine
with beautiful eyes and a smile divine
I loved her eyes, I loved her laugh
She truly was, my other half
Maybe it was wrong, how hard I fell
but when I was with her, my heart would swell
Together we'd spend, hours at night
Kissing and cuddling, until it got light
Maybe I sinned, maybe it was wrong
but my feelings for her, were too damn strong
I asked her to marry me, and she said yes
And in her arms, I felt blessed

Time went by, the years slipped away
But no matter what, I'll remember the day
The day she came to me and sat me down
and told me just what, the doctor had found
Inside her womb, now grew our child
and for a moment, I went wild
This was great news, for someone like me,
It was hard to believe, I was a father-to-be

I know you don't understand, why I did not write
When the life you gave me, was happy and bright
You knew I was thankful, and happy for it all

I just never expected to have a great fall

I waited outside the delivery room

Feeling like the anxious groom

Waiting and waiting for my son to be born

Only to result in a heart that was torn

Why did you do? Why'd you take him away?
Why couldn't you just, let him stay?
You called him to, the heavens above
Where he would be yours, to hold and to love
But why God why, did she go too?
Was one death not enough, for me to go through?
I don't understand it, it doesn't make sense
The sorrow in my heart, became immense
I did everything right, were you mad at me?
Was happy not, what I was meant to be?
Did I fail as a husband? Where did I go wrong?
I always made sure, my prayers were long
I spent so much time down on my knees
For it was you I wanted to please

I guess it just wasn't enough in the end
I had to watch their souls transcend
The least I could say, is that I tried
To be faithful and stay on your good side
I wanted to keep you happy, but it couldn't be done
You took away my wife, after my son
If this was a test, I failed, you win
Because loving her was never a sin

So here's the letter, I promised to write
When I held my wife, close at night
Before my son had been taken away
When I only had, good things to say

Here's the letter, I promised to write
When my future appeared, happy and bright
But things have changed, and so have I
I spent my time, trying to get by
But it's just not in me, to let things go
Losing my wife, was a fatal blow
I find myself wishing, it had been me you had taken
wishing you realized, you were mistaken
I wanted you to come, to take me away
And with my wife and son I'd stay
but that is impossible, and now I know why
Everything I learned about you's a lie
There is no God, it can't be true
Nobody deserves the pain I went through

No more oxygen, no more hope
How am I supposed to cope?
How could the god they claim to know
be the one who sinks so low
to take away a man's wife and son
Leaving him with a loaded gun
But it's not for you, it's for me
My eyes are open, I finally see
I found a way, to be with my wife
By taking away, my very own life
Together we'll be, in the land of the lost
where we'll be happy, no matter the cost

Amen

Letter to God V2

Dear God,
I know it's been awhile, since I've written to you
But what to write, I had not a clue
There was this girl, a friend of mine
with beautiful eyes and a smile divine
I loved her eyes, I loved her laugh
She truly was, my other half
Maybe it was wrong, how hard I fell
but when I was with her, my heart would swell
Together we'd spend, hours at night
Kissing and cuddling, until it got light
Maybe I sinned, maybe I was wrong
but my feelings for her, were too damn strong
I asked her to marry me, and she said yes
In her arms, I felt truly blessed

Time went by, the years slipped away
But no matter what, I'll remember the day
The day she came to me and sat me down
and told me just what, the doctor had found
Inside her womb, now grew our child
and for a moment, I went wild
This was great news, for someone like me,
It was hard to believe, I was a father-to-be

I know you don't understand, why I did not write
When the life you gave me, was happy and bright
You knew I was thankful, and happy for it all
But I won't ever forget the call
The one from the hospital, where my son was born
The call that left my heart torn

Why did you do? Why'd you take him away?
Why couldn't you just let him stay?
You called him to the heavens above
Where he would be yours, to hold and love
But why God why, did she go too?
Was one death not enough, for me to go through?
I don't understand it, it doesn't make sense
The sorrow in my heart, became immense
I did everything right, were you mad at me?
Was happy not what I was meant to be?
Did I fail as a husband? Where did I go wrong?
I always made sure, my prayers were long
I spent so much time down on my knees
For it was you I wanted to please

I guess it wasn't enough for you
and now all this pain, I must go through
The least I could say, is that I tried
to try and remain, on your good side
I wanted to keep you happy, but it couldn't be done
You took away my wife, after my son
If this was a test, i failed, you win
Because loving her was never a sin

So here's the letter, I promised to write
When I held my wife, close at night
Before my son had been taken away
When I had, only good things to say

Here's the letter, I promised to write
When my future appeared, happy and bright
But things have changed, and so have I
I spent my time, trying to get by
But it's just not in me, to let things go
Losing my wife, was a fatal blow
I find myself wishing, it had been me you had taken
wishing you realized, you were mistaken
I wanted you to come, to take me away
And with my wife and son I'd stay
but that is impossible, and now I know why
Everything I learned about you, was all a lie
There is no God, you don't exist
No matter how much, others insist

The God they claim to know
Would never sink so low
to take away a man's wife and son
and so in my hand, now lies a gun
But it's not for you, it's for me
My eyes are open, I finally see
I found a way, to be with my wife
By taking away, my very own life
Together we'll be, in the land of the lost
where we'll be happy, no matter the cost

Amen

Taste of Justice

Poetry concept:
A quinzaine is a poem with three lines that has fifteen syllables. No rhymes. There should be seven syllables in the first line, five in the second line and three in the third line (7/5/3). The first line makes a statement. The next two lines ask a question relating to that statement.

They say justice is for all
How does justice taste?
Is it free?

Silence

Poetry concept:
10 line poem. Start with one syllable, each line has one additional syllable.

Calm
Quiet
Cold as ice
A rising storm
Burning from embers
Silence in the distance
yet the ground begins to shake
Birds lose their voices, stone crumbles,
winds become turbulent, so quiet
So quiet, no one can hear you screaming

Bones

From your bones, our prosperity will rise
We plunder and cut, until your demise
Your darkened bark, turns scarred black
And into your flesh, our axes will hack
You tremble and shake, your branches quivering
Your leaves will shudder, like you're shivering
Down your bark, blood leaves a trail
As it slides in to, our silver pail 

Flames they flicker, burning your skin,
Leaving death, where life had been
Your arms they fall, like boulders to the ground
They penetrate the floor, not making a sound
We take away, and don't give back
Instead we go whack, whack, whack