Sunday, October 4, 2015

Interviewing My Family

Memories fade just like scars
that decorate the skin
At first they are red and ugly
but they lose their venom
changing into a thin, white line
and when they ask where you got
Such a testament of strength 
You can hardly remember

The same can be said for remembering
Someone that you loved
Hell, someone you still love
At first the grief is raw
and you remember everything about them
but as the venom slowly seeps away
you can't seem to remember
Just what their voice sounded like
Or what color they wore the most

The little things you took knowing for granted
The little things that are easy to forget
Even when they made up your mother
Have turned into a thin, white memory

When asking my family about their memories
it's common to hear the same stories
the same tales that have stood the test of time

My cousin, Jenny, fondly recalls
Growing up with my mother
Remembering all the good times they had
and the bad

When I asked her what her favorite was

it had little to do with my mother
when she was alive

she spoke of having her surgery
and having the doctor ask
just who ‘Bonnie’ was
"I had no idea why he asking
but all I had been saying while I going under was
“Don’t leave me and don’t let go of my hand”
When I woke up, nobody was there
but my hand had been closed 
As if I had been holding someone’s hand
only your mom was no longer there
she couldn't have been. “

My Uncle John thought of the times spent together 
relaxing on the farm, sitting around the bonfire
The sounds of animals piercing the night
My mother's other children-
and his nieces and nephews
They would ride the quads during the day
and put on a haunted hayride at night
Pizza would be ordered and Smores' would be made
while the ashes surrounded us
and danced the dance of life and death 

I could have asked my mother a lot
Asked about her favorite memories
Or how she felt as she brought life into the world
Not only for me and my siblings
but for the horse that was born on our farm
the one whose placenta sack she helped remove
or all of the animals she gave a second chance to
The ones she rescued, the ones she loved
No matter how battered she felt on the inside

Strength comes in many forms
Hiding beneath the thin, white lines
decorating your once perfect skin
waiting to shine through and show
just how life goes on

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